


Just Desserts

by calrissian18



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: America Fic, Bystander!fic, FBI Agent Draco, Frotting, Jealousy, Living as a Muggle Draco, M/M, OC & Muggle Narrator, Pining Harry, Star Wars Refrences, brief mention of rape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-31
Updated: 2013-05-31
Packaged: 2017-12-13 14:04:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/825120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/calrissian18/pseuds/calrissian18
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jay Edwards has a pretty good life, which is not to say he hasn't made mistakes, he has, nor is he trying to claim that he doesn't have a stupid, soul-destroying crush on his perfect partner, Derek Malloy. Because he does.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just Desserts

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," Jay Edwards, Jr., panted as he sprinted through the brush, elbowing branches out of his way while managing to keep his gun level and his eyes sharp. He was one of the Bureau's best field agents for this exact reason.

Brambles tore at his pant's leg and he could feel one of the shallow cuts from the thorns in the undergrowth dripping blood down onto his sock but he didn't dare slow down. He finally heard the thump of a body about fifteen yards ahead and, surprised he had managed to hear anything over the sound his own breathing, he accelerated into a clearing where their suspect had an arm around his partner's throat. A gun was lying just out of reach of the both of them. Jay recognized it as Bureau issue.

Jay had always prided himself on staying calm and composed in dangerous situations. In fact, he was regularly teased that if he hadn't outshone the instructor on the gun range then he'd be giving peace talks at the UN. However, right now, Jay was as far from calm as he could ever remember being.

He leveled his gun at the suspect's bald head; his hands shaking badly and his heart attempting to punch its way out of his chest. However, his partner wasn't one to do anything by the book and Jay watched as he elbowed the bald man in the ribs. The man gave a pained 'oomph' and Jay groaned as his partner didn't immediately make a sprint for his fallen weapon.

"Derek, what the hell?" he demanded, horrified to find that his voice was less than steady. He pointed his weapon once again only to find that his partner was blocking his shot. "If you'd move the hell out of the way, we could get this over with!"

Derek seemed to have only just noticed him and shot him a quick grin right as the suspect regained his footing and charged him.

"Derek!" Jay screamed, desperate to get a shot as the two rolled over and over one another, trying to gain the upper hand.

The suspect finally pinned his partner and Jay's finger tightened on the trigger just as Derek kneed the man in the groin. The bald man loosened his grip and exhaled in pain. Derek kicked him square in the chest until the man was propelled off of him. He stumbled but managed to remain standing while Derek shifted into a crouching position and swept his feet out from under him with a deft leg.

Derek gave a shit-eating grin and rolled the winded bastard over, skillfully cuffing him. He stood, covered in leaves and dirt but his mood not looking in the least bit dampened by it. Jay lowered his gun, exhaustion and exasperation setting in all at once.

Derek grinned toothily at him, breathing a little harder than normal, while Jay glared at him. He was trying not to notice how uncomfortably handsome Derek looked with the wind ruffling his too-blond hair and the sun dappling his face and shirt. Derek placed his grime and muck covered shoe on the suspect's back, his labored breathing making it rise and fall unevenly and, pointing, declared, "Now that was pretty."

Jay rolled his eyes as he stalked over to him. He holstered his weapon and punched Derek as hard as he could in the arm. Derek's pleased grin apparently could not be doused even by physical pain and Jay found himself smiling back. "Not as pretty as you," he muttered as they stood side by side looking down at the struggling, tangible mass of six months' hard work just as a half dozen other agents trooped in and began to read Matthew Dunlow, arms dealer, his rights.

Jay blushed and told himself he was _not_ flirting. Derek was a man – a _gorgeous_ man, some soon-to-be-dead voice in his head commented – and Jay was _not_ gay. So it simply wasn't possible, it didn't fit the numbers after all. He was just… euphoric that they had caught the guy. Yeah, that's all it was. Euphoria.

Derek nudged Jay's shoulder with his own as agents swarmed around them and smirked at him. "Let's not set impossible standards."

Their immediate supervisor, a ruddy-faced man, walked up just as Jay turned to him and smiled, convincing himself that the heat that had blossomed from the place of contact was simply because the wind had shifted the trees above them so the sun was now striking him as well as Derek. He carefully avoided looking up.

Ed Gordo's eyes flicked between them as if he was watching a tennis match, his presence continuing to go unnoticed. His growling voice broke their staring match. "Would you two just fuck already and get it over with? Maybe then you could spare my goddamn ears."

He was still holding out the blank incident forms, watching Edwards' face turn bright red, when Malloy turned to him, the cheeky bastard, and crooned, "Aw, Gordo, no need for jealousy. I think you're pretty, too."

Edwards gave a choking laugh and both men grabbed their papers.

* * *

Jay stared morosely into his drink in the secluded corner booth, stealing glances at his partner who was at least thirty feet away and downing shots with two of their more reckless coworkers. He wondered if that's how Derek wished _he_ was: Anything for the criminal, waylay the rules.

He was so intent on the uniquely blond hair that he didn't feel anyone slide into the booth until an exasperated and hearty woman's voice barked in his ear, "Edwards. Let's not go through this yet again. Man up."

Jay managed to calm his racing pulse with deep breaths and, once assured that he was in no danger of having a heart attack, he muttered, "Easy for you to say." Collins, his office mate down the hall, passed their table with a roguish grin and Jay did his best to plaster a phony smile on his face. This was _his_ victory party after all.

He glanced over at Lila Rhodes, the only person in the office to have picked up on his ill-advised and likely ill-fated crush. She was nodding profusely and Jay wondered how many beers she had had, with her slight frame it looked as if more than two would be enough to push her into intoxicated. She poked him in the ribs gamely. "That's because I have bigger, hairier balls than your pathetic excuse for gonads."

Jay spat out some of the drink he'd been nursing and, unable to help himself, giggled shamelessly. He stared at her with newfound appreciation, exclaiming, "Jesus, Lila!"

Lila just stared at him sagely and Jay thought she looked quite pretty when her eyes were half-lidded like that and her lips were wet. But, sadly, she'd never compare to the beauty of his very male partner. It seemed he was through with women for the time being and he sighed aloud at the truth of it.

Lila nudged him and Jay noticed she had thrown a few dollars down in front of him. She indicated them and said, in play-by-play fashion, "Buy him a drink, take him home, and fuck his brains out. Stop being such a pussy."

Jay shook his head and mumbled, "The Bureau has neutralized your vocabulary."

Lila smiled mischievously at him. "Ah, that accomplishment goes to the collegiate experience," she said wistfully. She placed her hands on her hips in mock chastisement. "Besides, I'm allowed to say it since I have one."

Jay snorted. "In addition to your big, hairy gonads?"

Lila grinned back at him and tipped her drink towards him. "Girl's gotta have it all to survive in this day and age."

Jay stared longingly over at Malloy, sinking down lower in the booth. He had lost count of how many drinks Derek had downed but he knew enough to be surprised that he was still standing. He picked at the label on his beer and stared at the tabletop while he grumbled, "There's no way of knowing that he's even—"

"Oh please." Lila pshawed, cutting him off. "He's gayer than a unicorn in a tutu shitting rainbow-colored cupcakes."

"Well," Jay blurted in shock while he stared bemusedly at Lila. He shook his head to clear it and demanded, "Why doesn't he make the first move then?"

Lila rolled her eyes. "Because less than two years ago you had a wife, fuckwit." She flicked him in the forehead, rather hard.

Jay scowled and rubbed at the spot of bother with the flat of his palm, hoping there wouldn't be a red mark – just in case he did actually get up the balls to talk to Derek tonight. He growled and lamented, "I-I flirt with him! It's not like I don't give him _anything_ to go on."

Lila paused and seemed to consider this. "Yeah, but," she said finally, her face thoughtful. She took a swig of her drink, her short, raven-colored hair just barely long enough to brush her earlobe as she set it down and pursed her bowlike lips. "Fact is, he's more likely to be wrong than you are."

Jay sank deep into thought over this. He supposed Derek was more likely to be wrong than he was but there had also never been any indication that Derek was interested in him for anything other than friendship. Not that they weren't good friends, the best of friends in fact. They had even spent their last two Christmases together, vowing to make it a tradition as Derek didn't have any family and Jay had still been reeling over his separation, and later divorce.

Jeannie had just begun to suspect something when Jay worked up the nerve to tell her that he believed himself to be falling in love with someone else. It had been nearly as hard to admit it to her as it had been to admit it to himself (and he still occasionally backslid on that every once and a while). She had begged him, after he had disclosed to her that it was someone he worked closely with, to transfer. At first he had made up excuses, he was stuck until such-and-such case finished or his boss had denied his request, before he finally told her the simple truth: He didn't want to.

She had asked for a divorce and Jay had willingly granted it, giving her anything and everything she wanted, feeling guiltiest for the bit he hadn't had the courage to tell her: that he was leaving her for a man. He had hoped, once his divorce was final, that there would be nothing holding him back from finally telling Derek how he felt but he had underestimated what a complete and utter chicken shit he was.

They had the best working relationship in the department, consistently scored highest on all of their evaluations, were the first pick when it came to the more complex cases, and spent almost all of their free time together. Jay would be giving up a whole hell of a lot if it turned out that Derek didn't have similar feelings for him – the best friend and partner he had ever had, and he just wasn't willing to risk it. Fuck it all, he didn't even know if Derek was _gay_ , let alone interested in him.

And he had no illusions, there was no way they were even in the same league. Sure, Jay was attractive enough, he supposed; fit and with a symmetrical face and light brown, choppy hair, but he had boring dirt brown eyes, a crooked smile, and he consistently looked as if he had just fallen out of bed into a pile of mud that was at the bottom of a hill.

And Derek was, well, Derek was _Derek_. He was sure even the gods would bow down in reverence of him.

"Your prey is escaping," said a sing-song voice in his ear and Jay looked up to see Lila and Wilkins. They appeared to have been dancing as Wilkins had Lila round the middle and was dipping her towards Jay so she could whisper to him. Her eyes darted over in the direction of the bar, where Derek had been all night, and Jay followed her gaze.

Sure enough, Derek was pulling on his jacket amidst rough backslaps and vigorous handshakes from his drinking partners as he headed towards the door. Jay turned a beaming smile on Lila, and he thought he heard a gasp of some sort, but he couldn't slow down. He snatched up his coat and ran through the bar to meet Derek at the door.

He was panting when he reached him and called out to his retreating back, "Hey, Derek. Wait up!" Derek turned around slowly with a bemused expression and his eyes seemed too bright as they caught on Jay. "Let me walk you home," Jay quested nervously, still trying to pull on his coat as they stepped outside.

Derek's bemusement grew and he leaned closer to Jay, squinting. He finally smiled brightly, his eyes blinking sluggishly – and separately, and announced as though he had solved a great mystery, "You live in the other direction!"

Jay couldn't help but find his behavior ador… unprofessional. Yes, that's what it was, unprofessional. He knew he was grinning stupidly and his cheeks were most likely candy-apple red but he was going to goddamn walk his partner home. He linked his arm around Derek's waist, carefully avoiding looking his partner in the eye, and announced, "And you're unsteady on your feet… I win." He grinned puckishly as he helped Derek to place an arm around his neck.

Derek seemed amused and picked up a leisurely stroll while he drawled, "Always looking out for me, Edwards."

A shiver danced up Jay's back at the sound of his partner's voice. That burring voice – _especially_ when it spoke French – was what had caused him to realize that perhaps his feelings for this man weren't all that platonic – that and his seventieth wank over his gorgeous ass. He shook his head to get it back on straight and said, "Someone's gotta protect your sorry ass and I happened to get partnered up with you." _Except that it was far, far from sorry; in fact--_

Derek stopped walking and raised a condescending blond brow. "Oh, I see. A burden now, am I?"

Jay swallowed hard and said softly, "No, you're not a burden."

Derek moved closer to him and Jay realized he had nowhere to go as a brick wall pressed up against his back. Pink, cupid's bow lips skated up his neck and Jay could feel hot puffs of air over his earlobe as Derek demanded in a husky tone, "What am I, then?"

_A curse_ , Jay thought, frustrated as he used every ounce of his willpower to keep from pushing his straining erection into Derek's crotch. God, it was unfair what Derek could do to him simply by breathing on him. He felt as if he had been hard for weeks and the need to come, the need to rub, the need to have Derek fucking Malloy's hands on him was nearly overwhelming.

"You're a gift," he mostly moaned out, hoping Derek wouldn't pick up on it in his drunkenness. His erection was growing increasingly painful and suddenly he wanted nothing more than to be home so he could take care of it. He opened his eyes to find his partner staring at his mouth, his pupils blown and his lips parted. It was the sexiest fucking thing he had ever seen in his whole goddamn life. _God, Jay, just wrap your fucking legs around him and hump him until--_

Jay pushed Derek away angrily and untucked his shirt so it covered the front of his pants. God, how fucking embarrassing. Derek was still staring at him with that 'fuck-me-now' expression and Jay looked away, feeling the need to break the silence. "You tell anyone I said that and I'll clock you good," was what he finally settled on. "I only told you 'cause I know you won't remember it."

Jay glanced back at him and was both relieved and somehow disappointed to see that Derek was back to normal. He laughed and hooked an arm around Jay's shoulders. "Now I'm going to employ all my energy into preserving that one statement in my memory until morning."

Jay tried to push him off, scowling. Annoyed with Derek's need to touch him as it was not helping his erection and, as a consequence, he was not enjoying his partner's 'charming bastard' routine as much as he normally would. "Fuck you," he said coldly.

Derek pulled him closer and Jay's struggling ceased. He grasped Jay's chin, tilting it up so Jay was staring into enigmatic grey eyes as he said tenderly, "Seriously, Edwards. Thank you."

Jay tried to fight down his blush, his urge to rut, to pull Derek down a dark alley and have his way with him, or just push him up against the brick wall and shove his tongue down his throat, and instead mumbled, "You're welcome. Even if you are a complete bastard and didn't deserve to hear it anyway."

Derek's jack-o-lantern grin made Jay's skin crawl with a niggling suspicion and when his partner came to an abrupt stop, it was only half-unexpected.

"What is it?" Jay asked nervously. _God, had Derek noticed, did he finally know, was he going to hate him for it, or maybe he'd be disgusted enough to transfer, Jesus, he was going to leave, wasn't he, leave Jay all alone and he would never see the blond devil again, no, he'd be stuck with--_

"This is my place," Derek said with a smile that made Jay think of a naughty schoolchild as he indicated the building before them.

"Oh." Jay did not wear his disappointment well and he wished he had thought to extend the walk but he had had no idea that Derek lived this close as he had never before made it into the man's apartment – they always met at his or wherever their destination was. "Well, uh." He stupidly stuck out his hand and tried nonchalantly, "I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?"

Derek grabbed his hand and pulled him close and suddenly Jay was just as off-kilter as he had been only moments ago. Derek nudged his fingers apart and it took Jay a moment to realize they were holding hands, fingers interlaced, and he flushed with warmth. "Unless you wanted to come up and see it?" Derek's voice was nothing more than a breathy whisper and Jay was about to punch a hole through his pant's front all over again. "You've never been in my apartment before I don't think."

Jay laughed breathlessly and ran his free hand through his shaggy brown hair. "No," he half-gasped, his voice cracking mortifyingly. "I definitely haven't."

Derek grinned like a cat that had finally cornered its prey. "So?"

"Yeah. Yes," Jay breathed dumbly, his tongue tripping over itself in its haste to acquiesce. "That would be – Sure."

"Nervous?" Derek said with a tittering laugh as he let them both into the building.

"What would I have to be nervous about?" Jay squeaked, standing closer to his partner than was strictly necessary, leaning up to breathe in the scent of his hair, slightly annoyed by the height difference. At least that was one good thing about women; he was always the taller of the two.

Derek stopped abruptly before door 3G and Jay ran into his back, embarrassed and lingering with his body pressed up against his partner's noticeably long. Derek swayed a bit, his lips glistening and his eyes hazy and Jay remembered how much he had drank at the bar and was glad he had finally gotten him home.

Derek held the door open for him but didn't even bother with a cursory tour as Jay let his eyes roam freely about his partner's home – kitchen, living room, hallway that led to the bedrooms, all in Derek's minimalist style and critical eye. He figured his partner was tired and lamented not getting an opportunity to imprint the color and undoubted elegance of Derek's bedspread into his memory. It would have made his fantasies a hell of a lot more realistic but Jay decided to take one for the team and call it a night.

He turned around, thwarted as he was and out of excuses to linger, when he caught sight of his partner, who had pulled off his jacket and tie during his examination and was now unbuttoning his collared shirt, slowly revealing teasing strips of creamy skin one after another.

"You know, Jay," Derek said in a conceding manner. "It's getting pretty late – maybe you should just stay?" The shirt fell to the floor and pale fingers caressed the leather of Derek's belt while that damnable grin brought back to mind that naughty schoolboy except now there was a paddle involved – a big, hard, rigid, strong, turgid paddle. _Fuck_.

Jay stumbled backward unthinkingly, his palms sweaty and slick and he hoped to god he wasn't drooling, only he didn't know _how_ he could be drooling because his mouth had never been this dry, not even on their last stakeout when they'd spent seventeen hours in the car having forgotten the water bottles and Derek's thigh had kept brushing up against his, driving him absolutely mad with desire until he had nearly pinned him to the fucking seat and sank down onto his cock and--"I, um. Yeah, the couch looks comfortable."

Derek's grin grew and he advanced on him, his voice a velvet cushion for his next suggestion. "Don't be ridiculous, you should take the bed, Jay."

Jay smiled back nervously and tried with varying success not to stutter. "Then w-where will you sleep?" Derek's hands fell to his hips and pulled him close, jerking so hard that they nearly both up-ended. Jay felt a thigh slip between his legs and he tried to keep his head. "Uhhh." His uncertain exhalation smoothed into an unwelcome groan as he clutched onto Derek's smooth shoulders while that insinuating thigh shifted against his rock hard cock and his hips bucked uncontrollably against it.

He pushed Derek off of him with the last vestiges of self-restraint he could cling to, harder than he'd ever been in his life and surprised his throbbing, protesting erection hadn't brought him to his knees yet, his blue balls feeling as if they would cripple him. He was panting and sweaty when he indicated the sofa that he knew from his earlier sweep of the place was somewhere behind him, though he was unable to tear his gaze away from Derek's rumpled hair or dilated eyes long enough to actually ascertain its location. It was genuinely painful to say his next words but Jay made himself. "I think I'll just take the couch, thanks for the, uh, offer though, Derek."

Emotions flitted across Derek's porcelain features quickly but two were excruciatingly prominent: confusion and hurt. Jay went to reach for him, to explain to him, but his partner backed away from his touch, his jaw clenched and his face a stone mask. "G'night, Jay," was all that was said between them as Derek left the room.

Jay flopped down on the couch, kicking himself as he whispered, "Goodnight, Derek," to the off-white ceiling, his hand slipping into his pants as he imagined how the night would have ended up if he hadn't stopped his partner's advances.

* * *

"You what?" Lila cried in stark disbelief, her coffee splashing dangerously, threatening to spill over Jay's papers and computer.

He glared at her but it was half-hearted as he was too preoccupied with being grateful that he even had someone to tell about last night's fuck-up of epic proportions. The only other person he'd ever been able to talk so openly with was his ex-wife and he could hardly tell her about his late night encounter with his too-hot-for-words male partner.

He sighed; even though his attraction had overshadowed the love he'd had for Jeannie, she had still been his best friend and that loss was still hard to weather. He wished they could just talk like they used to but the last time he had called her it had been awkward at best. Halfway through, she had asked him not to call again, saying she really had to move on with her life and explaining that she couldn't remain hung up on him before she… hung up on him. He understood, of course, but he still missed her.

He glanced up to find Lila staring at him from her perch on the edge of his desk, awaiting an explanation. His face infused with heat and he shrugged, mumbling, "He was drunk, it would have been taking advantage."

Lila gaped at him. "Dear god, Edwards. You are too much of a goody-goody for your own good!" She glared at him as though daring him to point out how many variations of 'good' there were in that sentence. "This, seriously, can't be healthy."

"I know," Jay agreed despairingly and he looked up at her with wide, sincere hazel eyes. "I just didn't want to ruin things." _Not to mention, you didn't want to be some drunken last resort, you wanted him to make love to you not fuck you, you sappy queen._

At that moment, their department head strolled around the corner and rapped his knuckles on the edge of Jay's cubicle. Jay looked up and Jendrick puffed out his chest, a large and intimidating man already, and said in his deep voice, "Edwards, where's Malloy?"

"He, er, called." _Yes, Jay, he called. He most certainly did not give you a saucy smirk while wearing nothing but cream-colored boxers and offer you breakfast._ Jay forced his thoughts back to the dangling sentence while surreptitiously wiping the drool from his chin. "Uh, and he said he was running about five minutes behind, sir. He should be here momentarily."

Jay glanced over at Derek's empty desk as if to confirm this even though he'd spent most of his morning, at least until Lila started quizzing him on his gloomy affect, staring at the unoccupied chair.

Jay had gotten there far before his partner, as he was certain he could not have sat on the Derek-scented couch and watched him do anything in his silk pants without bursting from the effort of keeping his hands away his lap. He had managed to jerk himself off in the Bureau's nearly unused fourth-floor bathroom, _thank god_ , before the morning briefing.

Jendrick followed his gaze and gave a short, dismissive nod. "All right. Last night a recon team caught someone in the staging warehouse that was used in the Higgs bombings. We've got him in custody in interrogation two; I'll get him warmed up but as soon as Malloy gets in, it's your case."

"Yes, sir," Jay rejoined immediately as Jendrick dropped an alarmingly large manila folder onto his desk, so full to bursting that half its contents broke free. He shot an approving gesture at Jay, a cursory nod to Lila, and strode off towards the interrogation rooms.

Jay groaned at the size of the file, assuming Lila would flit off to her own desk, smack Darcy for calling her 'Pixie', and then fight someone over the last cup of coffee as was her usual routine when she supplied easily, "You know, if you had just fucked him maybe you could finally get this idiotic crush out of your system."

Jay choked on his own spit, and her bald-faced daring, and strangled out, "I don't want to get it out of my system." Lila stared at him, uncomprehending, and Jay blushed so brightly he was sure it looked like he had used an entire container of rouge on his face. "I mean, it's not a bad feeling," he mumbled, horrendously embarrassed.

Lila seemed to have frozen and Jay awaited her final judgment on tenterhooks. She was still staring off into space when she said blankly, "My god, you're in love with him, aren't you, Edwards?"

Jay buried his face in his hands, his cheeks on fire and his voice barely loud enough to be heard over the sound of his own strained breathing. "I don't know. But – we've spent the last three years together as partners and he's always been, I don't know, _Derek_ , I suppose."

Lila knocked him hard in the side of the head and Jay glared up at her with narrowed eyes. She scoffed at him as he rubbed at the sore spot and demanded, "You've been crushing on this man for the better part of three years – while you were married, mind you – and last night's opportunity presents itself and you clam up?" Jay bit his lip uncertainly and she threw her hands up. "I've said it before and I'll say it again: Grow some fucking balls, man!"

Jay shrugged and started, "I want it to be—"

"If you say 'perfect,' I'll puke up my coffee right here on your desk," Lila warned.

Jay grinned, backtracked, and asked genuinely, "What's wrong with wanting things to be… good?"

Lila rolled her eyes and apparently even though he'd edited his response she could still hear the 'perfect' as her next words proved. "Nothing's ever perfect, Edwards. In fact, I find that the moments that are as far from perfect as possible are the best."

Jay thought this over and pointed out, "Well. It's not just that, it's also—"

"Yes?" she prodded sweetly, her smile resembling that of a shark staring down at a minnow.

Jay huffed and growled, deciding to get it out all at once – rip off the Band-Aid as it were. "Well, I've never done it with a man, have I? Never even been attracted to one before. That's a bit, er, terrifying in it's own right, yeah?"

Lila shrugged unconcernedly. "Try something new. Live outside your safe little bubble, eh? Either that, or spend the rest of your life pining."

"He was smashed, for christ's sake!" Jay exploded angrily.

"Who was smashed?" inquired a rugged and mellifluous voice behind him.

Jay's back went ramrod straight so quickly he swore he heard his spine creak and he jumped out of his chair gracelessly. It teetered on its back legs before coming to rest and Jay snatched for the distracting file, shoving it into Derek's hands, inadvertently touching his chest and stumbling back as though he'd been electrocuted, all the while talking rapid-fire. "Derek! Uh, hey, I was just – We have a suspect in the Higgs bombings, and it's our case. Soon as you're ready." He could see Lila's frame hunched over and shaking silently in his periphery as she tried to keep from laughing outright at him.

Derek raised an amused and questioning blond brow. "Excellent," he said finally while leafing through the file, evidently deciding to take pity on his frazzled partner and just not ask. Jay loved him even more for it. Derek shot an amiable grin at Lila which she returned as she slipped off Jay's desk back to her own. Derek glanced back at Jay and he could only hope his cheeks were no longer flaming. "He talking?"

Jay shrugged his shoulders and said in the calmest tone he had managed so far, "The big boss man is in with him now, waiting on us."

Derek grinned. "Well?" he demanded impatiently.

Jay's face broke into a wide smile. "Love that spirit of adventure."

* * *

They walked into the observation room of interrogation two to find Mieko already watching the progression. She turned around at the sound of the two of them entering and punched something into her blackberry as she said in a feminine voice that now barely held the trace of an accent, "Hasn't said a word, not even a name."

Derek indicated his displeasure with a grumbling noise while Jay stared at his silhouette. Apparently they weren't going to mention anything about last night, and this suited Jay just fine. Perhaps Derek had even forgotten about it in his inebriation – he certainly hadn't given anything away that morning, and he hadn't acted awkward or uncomfortable at all. The tenseness of Jay's shoulders relaxed and he breathed a little more freely.

Despite how sentimental and foolhardy it sounded, Jay really hadn't wanted their first time doing anything romantic to be like that and he hoped Derek _really didn't_ remember it. When he pictured it in his head, it wasn't much different, except that Derek was stone sober and telling Jay how he'd wanted him forever and if only he had said something sooner--

Jendrick stood up at that exact moment and they knew who Mieko had been messaging as he said dauntingly, "Well, if you won't talk to _me_ then perhaps you'll talk to our lead investigators?" Jay rolled his eyes, if the suspect wasn't intimidated by Jendrick – who was widely recognized as one of the toughest-looking guys in the Bureau – then he doubted a sloppy bloke with a ketchup stain on his cuff and his might-as-well-be-a-model partner were going to do it. It's not like they could throw him to the Rancor after all.

Derek and Jay took their cues and opened the door to the room as Jendrick nodded to it, growling informatively, "This is special agent Edwards and special agent Malloy."

Jay got his first look at the suspect and was surprised to find that he was just a kid, barely older than he or Derek was. He looked underfed and malnourished with a wild look to his green eyes, which were augmented by old-fashioned oval frames.  He had a scar stamped on his forehead that looked as if it had a story behind it. Jay noticed they had the same kind of uncontrollable hair, though this man's was much darker than his own. He was surprised Jendrick hadn't taken one look at the guy and let him go, he hardly looked solid enough to plan a trip to the bank let alone a bombing.

Jay glanced down at the file in his arms and flipped a couple of the pages back, speaking on autopilot as interrogation had become almost a second language to him. "Now, as I understand it—"

A harsh, "Malfoy," broke his train of thought rather suddenly and for a moment Jay wondered where the roughened, ragged voice had come from before focusing his gaze on their suspect. But the man wasn't looking at him, he was staring straight at Malloy, his green eyes – which had looked rather unimpressive before – were now positively burning with life. His hands were chained to the table and this looked as if it was the first time he'd noticed it… and the first time he'd wanted to be free of them.

The man stood up violently, his chains clanging loudly in the still room, and Jay placed a staying hand behind him and felt Derek's reassuring arm meet his searching palm. He turned around to face his partner, plan some sort of silent strategy, and regroup, but Derek wasn't looking at him either. In fact, Jay almost didn't recognize him as his partner.

His face was twisted with a bitter sneer and pure hatred seemed to radiate off of him in waves as he practically spat, "Potter." Derek made as if to lunge for the man – Potter, he had called him – but Jay held him at bay, confused and disbelieving. He had never seen his partner lose control like this and it scared the shit out of him.

Braying laughter filled the room and the man croaked mockingly, "Do your _friends_ know what you are, I wonder?" He was a Brit, too, though his accent wasn't nearly as refined as Derek's.

Derek struggled even harder against him, his hands clutching thin air as he tried to reach for Potter and rip him apart. "Fuck off, Potter," he snarled mercilessly as he tried to find a way out of Jay's grip without hurting him. They both knew, if Derek wanted to, he could be across that room in a matter of moments but not without putting Jay out of commission for at least a couple of weeks.

Jay similarly did not want to hurt Derek, though he could easily subdue him, and it was as his partner very nearly twisted out of his hold that Jay slammed him up against the wall of the interrogation room with all his might, which was considerable despite his smaller stature. "Derek, stop!" he yelled in alarm, unable to ration his partner's actions. "He's a goddamn suspect, what the hell are you doing?"

Potter's laughter increased and he barked loudly and incredulously, "Derek? Derek! What's the matter, Draco?" Potter jeered, his words ringing in the room. "Not proud of mummy and daddy's lineage anymore?"

Derek growled and scrabbled against Jay's back to get closer to the man, his nails digging in painfully. "You don't know anything about me anymore," he roared, each word hard and cutting.

"I know a hell of a lot more than they do," Potter snarled back, his chin jutting towards Jay. "Bet they wouldn't be so cozy around you if they knew the truth, too," he said in a weaseling little voice.

Derek stopped struggling for a glorious moment and slumped desolately against Jay's shoulder. "Why did you come here?" he strove croakily.

Potter's laugh was high and cold. "You think it was for you, did you? Please, as if I could care about someone as insignificant as you?" But even as he said the words, his eyes skirting away from the fury in Derek's face while he spoke them, Jay knew they were a lie. Maybe Potter wasn't here for Derek, but there was no way he didn't care. It was in every shift of his eyes and every grit of his teeth and Jay swallowed down the bile in his throat as a voice in his head whispered that it was in Derek's too.

There was something tensile and nearly palpable between the two men, as though they had once been friends and suffered through a great betrayal at one another's hands. Either way, the feeling between them was too strong to be simple hatred and Jay thought they both knew it.

Potter was glaring at Derek now as though he was something particularly revolting he had found on the bottom of his shoe. "Everyone thinks you're dead, anyhow. Not that there are many people left to mourn you now. Found Pansy's body just last week and Zabini's hand the week before that." Derek's face went pale and then green and Potter mocked in a too-sweet voice, "Don't tell me you cared."

"Fuck you," Derek screamed. "You have no idea—"

"Of what?" Potter demanded, his words slicing like the cut of a blade. "How hard it was to run away, to abandon everyone who ever cared about you? You're right, I have no idea what that's like."

Derek sneered at him and finally, with a massive effort, fought Jay off, but instead of making for the suspect as Jay had expected, he straightened his shirt, jutted out his chin, ripped open the door, and stalked out of the room without a backward glance. Jay tore after him, vaguely hearing Potter's laughter echoing in the background, but he barely spared a thought for it as he rushed past, staring down Mieko as though daring her to mention a word of this to anyone. And he was momentarily surprised to see Lila there, too, before he put it out of his head and sped up.

He finally found Derek in the records room, his back up against a file cabinet, his shoulders hunched forward, his face buried in his hands, and his panting breaths coming in strangled gulps. Jay placed staying, supportive hands on his partner's shoulders and questioned gently in an explosive breath, "Derek, what the hell was he talking about?"

Derek stared at him for a long moment, a strange glint to his eye, before he finally shook him off with a shake of his head and said in a would-be calm voice, "It's nothing. He's deranged."

"Derek, you knew his name," Jay reminded without remonstrance. "You seemed to know what he was talking about—"

"I knew him from school," Derek blurted abruptly, as if in an effort to stop Jay from speaking and putting any more of the puzzle pieces together. He grabbed Jay's hand on his shoulder and squeezed. "It's nothing, Jay," he said assuredly.

Jay squeezed Derek's shoulder in return for the gesture and said, prompting, "Derek—"

"I'm gonna take the rest of the day," Derek announced before he could get any further. He smiled vulnerably at him. "Let Jendrick know, yeah?"

And Jay would do anything for that smile. He nodded weakly but caught Derek's hand before he could leave and cleared his throat nervously. "Derek, do you want me to – I could check on you later, if you want."

Derek shook his head, caressed the back of Jay's hand with his thumb before letting go, and asserted, "I'll be fine. Just need rest, I think. Thanks for the offer though, Jay."

It wasn't until three hours later, when Jay was sitting at his desk with his first free moment of the day, that he remembered with a lurch in his gut that those were the exact same words Jay had used to turn Derek down the night before.

* * *

Jay was still at his desk as the hour closed in around seven and he felt like just repeatedly slamming his head into the fake wood beneath him at the futility of it all. He hadn't been able to concentrate on anything for the entire afternoon as his mind kept wandering back to the interrogation room and what had passed between Potter and Derek.

He had thought about going down to the holding cells to demand answers from Potter but he was too much of a coward to do it.  Besides, he didn't think he'd get anything from him anyway – at least nothing helpful.

He buried his face in the open folder before him, having had absolutely no success in reading it, and was surprised to hear a sly voice niggle at his ear. "So, that was cute."

Jay turned his head without lifting it to see Lila's face pop up over the divide of their cubicle walls. "What are you talking about?" he grumbled tiredly.

"The interrogation room…" Lila prompted.

Jay was sure his confusion was as plain as day on his face but, just to clarify, he added stupidly, "Huh? What about it?"

Lila rolled her eyes and explained as though talking to a third-grader, "The way you moved in front of Malloy."

Jay crumpled up his face in bemusement. "What do you mean?"

Lila's jaw dropped in amazement, her button nose scrunching, and she shook her head indulgently. "You didn't even notice it, did you? God, you're such a fucking bleeding heart."

Jay's brow furrowed and he urged, seeing as this conversation was going absolutely nowhere at any speed, "What are you talking about?"

"The minute Potter stood up, you stepped in front of Derek," Lila said, as though any minute she expected Jay to jump in and finish the story. When he didn't, she continued, slightly awed, "And… you didn't even think about it, did you, you just automatically did it. Your unconscious instinct is to protect him above yourself." She mentioned all of this as though she was just realizing it as she said it and Jay struggled to recall the exact layout of the interrogation room.

He could remember entering the room with Derek, and then seeing Potter shoot up from his seat. He could remember reaching behind him to feel for Derek's arm, only… he shouldn't have been able to reach him. If they had been in their exact same positions as when they entered, then when Jay had reached behind him he should have felt nothing but air as they were standing at least three feet apart. The only explanation was that he had covered the distance between them before he had even realized he'd moved and placed himself between Potter and Derek thoughtlessly.

He looked up at Lila guiltily to find her giving him a Cheshire cat grin. "And you didn't fuck him because…?"

Jay flushed instantly and threw a styrofoam cup at her head. "Oh, fuck off. Don't you have work to do?"

* * *

Jay was exhausted when he came into work the next morning, late for the first time in three years. Between what had happened two nights ago with Derek – which was spank bank material for at least a century – and what had gone on yesterday in the interrogation room, he was going on zero sleep.

However, if he thought he looked bad, it was nothing compared to his partner. "Jesus, Derek!" he yelped as his partner leaned over the cube wall with a steaming cup of coffee in his hand. Jay stood up and idiotically reached for his partner's bruised eye.

Derek swatted him away but Jay was determined and he tenderly touched around the purpled flesh to make sure there weren't any broken bones. "What happened?" he demanded as Derek stilled under his examination and Jay chanced a tiny step closer to him. He could feel the heat radiating off his partner and he wanted more than anything for Derek to slip a knee between his legs again. He didn't care that they were at work, he'd let Derek take him right here on his cluttered, disorganized desk.  Jay then tried his best not to moan aloud at the image.

Derek seemed distracted and he answered in a tone that screamed untruth. "Huh? Oh, pub brawl."

While Jay normally loved Derek's aristocratic British accent, he found he fucking despised it when it was lying to him. However, as Derek had done for him yesterday, Jay decided to let the touchy subject drop. "Listen, we got round two with, uh, Potter. You okay for this?"

Derek grinned convincingly at him. "Better than okay."

* * *

Jay was feeling completely unbalanced when they finally entered the scene of yesterday's unpleasantness and sat down across from the suspect. He glanced up at him and did a double take. The man had a split lip and a cut on his cheek that sure as hell hadn't been there yesterday.

He glared at Derek but his partner pretended not to notice. Had he snuck back into the building just to beat the shit out of Potter?

Jay cleared his throat to distract himself and folded his hands confidently on the table. "Well, Mr. Potter, perhaps today you're feeling a bit more cooperative?" He stared at the man to gauge his response but he only had eyes for his partner, whose gaze was focused some five feet to the left of their suspect with his arms crossed over his chest.

Jay shifted uncomfortably, noticing unhappily that Potter was now gazing at his partner with – not hatred – but something almost unbearably close to reverence with a just-this-side-of-noticeable hint of lust. It was upsettingly close to the way _Jay_ looked at Derek.

He struggled to keep the questions coming and to focus Potter's attention on _him_. He checked the file before him and used a stern voice to continue the interview. "Can you tell us what you were doing in the warehouse on the corner of Howard and Lynn at three-forty on the morning of the seventeenth?" But Potter didn't even seem to hear him as he was so intent on Derek. His gaze was positively hungry now. "Uh, Mr. Potter?" Jay tried.

Potter ignored him but his hands shifted across the table towards Derek and, once again, he seemed to just realize they were cuffed and just now want to be free of them – although for an entirely different reason than the last time. "Aren't you going to say anything?" he demanded as the chains rattled and he strained towards Derek.

"What am I meant to say?" Derek asked blandly as he stared up at the ceiling.

"Something. Anything," Potter pleaded as his eyes traced the contours of Derek's face, tracked down the column of his throat.

Apparently even though Derek couldn't see Potter's eyes, he could still feel them and he sneered viciously. "I would think you would've grown weary of staring at my face by now."

Potter grinned lopsidedly. "The novelty hasn't quite worn off. The closest I could get before was your father and, suffice it to say, he was a poor substitute." Potter looked as if he wanted nothing more than to trace the same course his eyes had taken with his fingertips and they tensed against the countertop in denied longing.

"Why so interested in my face then?" Derek snapped back at him, finally glaring at Potter. It was apparent that the two men were used to being at odds and Jay wondered if Derek wasn't just being awful to counter Potter's sweetness as that was the status quo he was used to.

However obvious Potter was willing to be in his changed affections it was clear it didn't extend to the outright stating of it. His face turned bright red and he blustered, "Don't flatter yourself." He went on a bit desperately, "Had to have some sort of picture so I could tell the others what to look for – and hunt down."

Derek's lip curled coldly. "Thought I wasn't important enough to waste your breath on, Potter?"

"There was some disagreement on that," Potter said with a sneer worthy of Derek's. "Neville thought we should get to you before Greyback could, thought it would be more merciful." Potter sized him up callously. "Not that you would have deserved it, Malfoy."

Jay, who had been in utter shock up until this point, his ears trained on every word that passed between them, trying desperately to catch _more_ – more of Derek's past, more of his family, more of why he had run to America – perked up at this and snapped, "His name is Malloy. Derek Malloy."

Both Derek and Potter jumped, apparently having forgotten he was there, and Derek placed and hand on his arm and said quietly, "Jay, maybe you could—"

But Jay was glaring at Potter, whose eyes had shifted from burning a hole into where Derek was touching him to meeting his gaze head-on. An intense dislike flared in Jay's breast and he grinned maliciously as he closed his hand over Derek's on his arm and leaned in close to breathe defiantly, "I'm not going anywhere."

Potter was livid and breathing hard. "Aw, he wants to protect you," he mocked in an infantile, yet shaky, voice.

Jay moved closer to Derek and stroked the side of his face the way he _knew_ Potter had been dying to. The man shifted in his cuffs uneasily and Jay crooned, "Perhaps you don't understand that kind of loyalty, disgraced and alone as you are."

Potter snarled and looked mad enough to bite. "It's you who doesn't understand, Muggle," he spat back at him.

"What did you just call me?" Jay asked, trying to inject that with incredulous venom but really more confused than angry.

Derek tightened his grip on his arm and Jay glanced back at him to see him glaring at Potter before Derek turned to him and encouraged, "Jay, listen, just—"

"I am _not_ leaving you alone with him," Jay squawked in indignation. If Potter wanted to fight him for Derek, then fight they would. There was no way he was going to leave them alone and let Potter get the upper hand.

"Edwards," Derek said through clenched teeth, frustrated now. "Just give me a minute."

Jay pulled him away from the table and towards the door and the two put their heads together as if sharing a secret. "Either I stay, or we both leave," Jay whispered furiously, slightly ashamed of himself. In his desire to beat Potter he had almost forgotten that it was over Derek that they were fighting and his desire to protect his partner smothered the competitive feeling. "It's fucking rule number one, Derek, don't leave your partner in a dangerous situation!"

"He's cuffed," Derek said with a smile. "Couldn't be less dangerous if he tried."

"Not just physical danger, okay?" Jay said urgently, trying to convey with his eyes how sober he was. "Whatever he was talking about yesterday, it spooked you, all right? I don't want to ever see that look on your face again. And I don't want to give him the chance to put it there."

Derek was staring at him with wide eyes and he didn't look as though he intended to open his mouth any time soon.

Jay swallowed and told him seriously, "I don't care what's going on with you, or if you have a murky past, or even a different name." He clutched tightly to Derek's biceps and shook him lightly. "I know you as Derek and the man that I know as Derek I will protect with my fucking life, okay?"

Derek looked at him in shock. "Jay, I—"

Derek's gaze was so sincere and so grateful that looking at it for more than a moment was as difficult as staring into the sun and Jay shifted his gaze to the side, demanding, "So, am I staying or are we going?"

* * *

Jay dragged himself out of his office and into the elevator, rubbing a tired hand over his face. Potter had clammed up for the rest of the interview and Derek had done nothing to encourage him to break his silence – which was probably why he'd kept it up, which meant that they'd be back at it tomorrow and Potter would be back in holding until then. Jay yawned as he exited the building, swiping his security clearance card.

A noise like a truck backfiring or possibly a .38 caliber handgun being fired ripped through the alley to his left, waking Jay up as nothing else could. He unholstered his weapon and carefully stole closer to the origin of the sound.

He was just peeking around the corner when Derek's angry voice demanded, "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Jay stilled guiltily for a moment, thinking Derek had noticed him before he went on, "You know these Muggles aren't completely inept, they'll notice you're missing."

Jay's shock was palpable. He dropped low and edged his back around the corner, sneaking up behind the side of a dumpster so he could peer out at Derek without being seen. He heard another man laughing – laughter that sounded familiar to him. He poked his head out further and his jaw dropped open just as Derek snapped, "What's so funny?"

Potter was standing there – how the hell had he gotten out of holding without the alarms sounding? – hands still cuffed and his green eyes alight with a challenge. "You," he barked. "Defending Muggles."

Jay's head was spinning; they had both used that term now. It must have been some sort of British slang that Jay was unfamiliar with or maybe it just wasn't mainstream. And why the fuck wasn't Derek calling for back-up or re-arresting Potter or at least _threatening_ to re-arrest him – anything but just standing there and letting him get away.

Oh, fuck!

They were in cahoots, weren't they?

Derek was smart enough to pull off the Higgs bombings and he knew FBI procedure well enough that there would never have been even a minute trace of him in the aftermath. Fuck, how long had he been planning this and Potter – Potter had fucked everything up by getting caught and now Derek was helping him disappear and what exactly were they to each other? And why the hell did it matter now that his partner had gone rogue? But it did. It really, really did.

Jay was drowning in the successive revelations, the blood rushing in his ears so loudly that he almost missed Derek's careless, throwaway comment of: "Stranger things have happened." He watched as his partner drew a cigarette up to his lips and inhaled deeply. Jay had used to love watching him do that – his disgust for the habit completely outweighed by the overwhelming sensuality of it.

Potter held his hands out, wrists up, to Derek and said in a cheeky, winsome voice, "Will you get me out of these things?"

Oh God, it was all true! He had fallen in love with a fucking _psychopath_ , proving his mother right – he always did pick the wrong ones – and wouldn't she just be thrilled to know it? Shit, shit, shit! He leveled his gun on Derek's back as he moved closer to Potter, looking as if he might kiss him. Jay's finger flexed on the trigger, knowing he had to stop Derek now _before_ he freed Potter.

His hand trembled and fell. Fuck, even now, he'd rather die than hurt Derek. And considering those were, in all likelihood, his options, at least he had knowingly made the dumbest decision of his life. Luckily it was probably his last.

He watched as Derek leaned closer to Potter, but instead of pressing his lips to the slighter man's – as Jay could tell Potter was hoping for – he simply smiled coldly against his ear and taunted, "You put yourself in them."

Potter growled at him and snapped, "Fine. I'll do it myself." The effect of his anger was somewhat marred by the fact that Jay had put those cuffs on himself and he knew Potter would just look like a colossal moron in a few minutes trying to get them off without Derek's help. But Potter just gazed at the unrelenting steel defiantly and hissed something that sounded like, " _Realasheso_."

Jay watched in a sort of horrified awe as the cuffs dropped to the damp street with a clang as though they had simply melted off Potter's wrists, almost like they were burned by the heat in his eyes. He clamped a hand over his mouth to keep from gasping aloud while Derek just stood there, completely unimpressed. He flicked away his cigarette butt and Jay thought maybe he had missed it somehow.

Derek turned to look at Potter after ascertaining that his cigarette had landed in a shallow puddle and sneered. "I see you've finally gotten the hang of wandless magic."

Jay shoved a finger in his ear and opened and closed his jaw a couple of times. Had he just said—They must have been speaking in code. He wondered what it stood for and hoped one of them would slip up so he'd know – well, he hoped that Potter would, he knew better than to expect Derek to ever be off his game.

Potter moved closer to Derek – who instantly backtracked – and there was a soft sadness in his eyes. "Yeah. I did. After you – I never wanted to feel that helpless again." Derek had gone completely still and become increasingly pale. Potter shook his head and looked up at Derek, jilted.  "Why the fuck did you just take off?"

Derek crossed his arms over his chest, his eyes darting about for an exit while he feigned poise. "What does it matter to you? I was never one of your cronies, Potter. What would it have helped if I had stayed?"

Potter took Derek in his arms and spoke softly, breathing the words into Derek's neck, as though afraid if he spoke any louder he might spook him. "You could have switched sides. You could have worked with us instead of against us."

Derek broke his hold and pushed him away angrily. "There was no point. It didn't matter anymore."

"Because of your Mum's death?" Potter asked with a hard edge. He frowned apologetically but he didn't let his guilt stop him from making his point. "There were other people who needed you, Draco."

Derek had swayed slightly at the mention of his mother but his pomp and anger returned not even a moment later. "Yeah, like who – you?" he asked, jeering.

Potter growled and advanced on him furiously. "Your father, for one, once he saw what Greyback did he tried to switch sides. They fucking ripped him to shreds."

Derek flinched but held his ground and looked defiantly back at Potter. "So I should've met the same fate then?"

Potter grabbed Derek's shoulders and groaning, shouted, "No. Merlin!" He shook Derek, his gaze softening the longer he held his rebellious eye. He ran a hand through his messy hair and lamented, "Why do you have to twist everything?"

Potter placed a hand on Derek's cheek and slid it up into his hair, leaning closer to him, tilting his head to the side so their noses wouldn't bump, and closing his eyes. Derek pushed him off and backed away while Potter's eyes flew open to glare at him. Derek snarled, "Everything I had to fight for was gone, Potter. Greyback took it all in one fell swoop."

"And you blinded him," Potter said flatly.

"Do you think that was _revenge_ for what he did to her?" he screeched. "For what he did to _me_? That wasn't even a taste of what he deserved." Derek looked as if he was a step away from the brink of madness and Jay silently begged for Potter to pull him back from the precipice. He had never seen Derek like this, he had never shown this much emotion – not in the three years they had been partners, and that was terrifying enough in its own right.

Potter must have felt the same because his next words were soothing and tentative, with a slight edge of panic. "Exactly. So why didn't you stay to get your revenge at the very least?"

Derek deflated and he said dully, "Living for vengeance is no better than dying for honor." He drew back his fist and punched Potter with full force in the face, growling as he went down, "Why do you give a shit anyway, Potter?"

Potter's hand closed around Derek's wrist and he pulled Derek down with him. He rolled on top of him easily and Jay realized that Potter must have had some defensive training to move that quickly. He pressed his forearm to Derek's trachea and held him down as he screamed, his voice strained, "Because I spent a year looking for you, you fuck!"

Derek's struggling stopped instantly and Potter took the opportunity to punch every inch of him he could reach while he cried, "Your friends all defected and I did _my best_ to keep them safe but Parkinson, Crabbe, Goyle, Zabini, Nott, they were going spare wondering what _the fuck_ had happened to you. Could barely concentrate on anything else. Even if it was just a body to bury, they wanted to know."

Derek was barely moving as he listened, only letting out an 'oof' of pain every so often when Potter got in a good punch. He wasn't even trying to defend himself. Potter's righteous cries of accusations and reprisals had simply become heartfelt blubbering, and snot and tears were running unattractively down his face. He pounded weakly at Derek's chest while he sobbed. "In every pile of bodies, I kept waiting for it – for your face to leap out, to finally end the search on that macabre note. But you were never there and one by one they died and I still hadn't found you."

Potter would have collapsed completely as the fight seeped out of him if Derek hadn't caught him by the shoulders and held him up. "Why the fuck couldn't you have just told them?" he demanded pitifully.

"I didn't – I didn't think of them," Derek croaked, swallowing loudly. "I could only see my mother, my pain. I was selfish. I didn't think they'd keep looking, I didn't think they'd care enough to," he admitted chokingly.

"You stupid prat," Potter accused. "What about me?" he said finally, not looking at Derek, seeming as if he had never wanted to deteriorate to the point where he asked the question but at the same time needing to know the answer. "How do you think it felt, waiting to meet you on those battlefields, wondering on which end of your wand I would be, wondering if I'd have to – or if you were already—"

Potter's voice was cracking and breaking and Derek scrambled up in alarm, blurting, "Shit, Potter."

Derek helped Potter to his unsteady feet and Potter leaned against the sturdier form of Jay's partner, burying his face in that strong chest. "There's been so much death, Draco, so much blood, and it's been so long since I've slept. I just want it to be over."

"It's not over?" Derek asked carefully.

"There's just one more Horcrux. It got displaced from its resting place, all the way to America. I guess I can't be too frustrated though." Potter looked up at Derek in sickening admiration and said wistfully, "Without it I never would have fulfilled my promise. I found you, Malfoy."

Derek seemed uncomfortable with this side of Potter, much as he had been during the second interrogation, and he looked as if he wanted nothing more than to push the man off of him and run. He somehow restrained himself. "Horcruxes are a myth, Potter," was all he said, rather blankly too.

More code, Jay was sure of it.

Potter snorted. "Tell that to Voldemort."

Jay leaned back against the dumpster in frustration as the conversation became more esoteric, not realizing that it was empty and therefore not grounded. The metallic side scraped along the alley wall as it shot forward with the loudest, most caterwauling sound in the history of the world and Jay heard Potter's voice dart out of the noise. "What was that?"

Both Derek and Potter spun and Jay – now completely without cover – laid stupidly on the ground in full view of the both of them. Potter pulled something out of his waistband – a stick? – and Derek grabbed for his arm in perfect panic, exclaiming, "Potter—"

But Potter was pointing the stick at him and Jay might have outright laughed at him if not for the fear in Derek's eyes. Potter grinned venomously at him and shouted, " _Petrificus Totalus_."

_That's it?_ Jay thought wonderingly – but almost immediately he knew something was wrong. He tried to stand, to move, to blink, but he was completely paralyzed and more terrified than he could ever remember being. His body wouldn't obey him and he could hear himself making some sort of whimpering noise but his lips wouldn't move. Oh God, what had Potter done to him? He couldn't fucking move, he'd never fucking walk again, he couldn't even close his goddamn eyes! He tried desperately to force his eyelids to meet – because this couldn't be fucking real and if he could just close his eyes then that'd prove it – but they felt as if they'd been cemented open and he could feel fat, hot tears of frustration and confusion sliding down the sides of his face as he gave up completely.

He could do nothing but watch as Derek shoved Potter – _hard_ – into the brick wall behind him and bellowed, "Potter, what the fuck," before striding over to Jay's side determinedly.

Potter rubbed the back of his head where it had hit, bewildered and hurt. Jay could see his eyes were glossy with unshed tears and he wondered if that was because of the pain or the rejection. Derek knelt down next to him and wiped his tears away with his thumb, smiling bleakly.

'I love you', Jay wanted to scream before he realized he'd never be able to speak the words. Not ever. Derek would never know now. He would leave and he would never know. His tears renewed and came with greater frequency and Derek gave up trying to brush them away.

Potter knelt at Derek's side and stared down at him. Jay's internal struggle was harrowing while outwardly not even his pinky toe so much as wiggled. He wanted to kill Potter, to keep him far away from his Derek, to make him disappear so thoroughly that it would be as if he never existed. Potter pointed that dubious stick at him again and Jay's thoughts stuttered to a halt.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Derek growled, grabbing Potter around the wrist.

"He overheard us," Potter gritted out, as though his patience was wearing thin. "I know you've been gone awhile but surely you remember the Statute of Secrecy?"

Derek pushed him away with all his might and he said more icily than Jay had ever heard him speak, "Don't you fucking dare!"

"Excuse me?" Potter snarled incredulously as he pushed himself up off the ground.

But then Derek was pulling out a stick from his ankle strap as well and pointing it at him and, if Jay could have closed his eyes, he would have. Because he was pretty sure his partner was going to kill him, to put him out of his misery as it were. And he silently thanked him for it and wished that he could tell him everything that he felt but he knew it was useless to wish for that now. Derek stroked the side of his face and Jay dumbly tried to lean into it before remembering he couldn't move when Derek whispered, " _Finite_."

_Was that it, was he dead?_ Derek's hand slipped under his shoulders and he was helping him up when Jay realized he could move.  He blinked stupidly. "Jay," Derek said sharply.

Jay's faculties returned and he scrambled to his feet, congratulating himself on having the wherewithal to grab his fallen weapon on the way up. He pointed it straight at Potter's heart and swiped at his eyes with his sleeve. "What the fuck did you just do to me?" he demanded unstably, before turning back to his partner. "Derek, what's—"

Derek moved forward and Jay fluidly swung the gun around to face him, his training too deeply ingrained to even try to edit the action. He saw Potter's hand tighten on his stick in his periphery and Derek didn't stop moving towards him. He held the gun threateningly but Derek seemed to be in on the secret that he would never shoot him too.

He placed his hand on Jay's extended forearm and slowly and gently pushed it down by his side.  He said softly and somewhat sadly, "No, not Derek. Draco. Draco Malfoy."

Jay stared at him in disbelief, his gun clattering to the dirty alley floor, while Potter demanded furiously behind them, "What do you think you're doing?"

Derek half-turned and challenged, "Just fuck off, Potter. Report me to the Ministry if you want, I'm not Obliviating him."

Jay didn't know what almost all of that meant but when Derek turned back to him and held his face between his perfect, smooth palms – Jay knew that he was happy.

"This is so fucking stupid," Potter bemoaned from somewhere that was nearby but wasn't Derek's exquisitely grey eyes so Jay found that it didn't really matter too much. "He's a Muggle, Malfoy, he'll never understand us!" Potter tried again, desperately emphasizing the ' _us_ '.

Derek didn't even bother to respond, he just gave Jay a small smile and said conspiratorially, "I think we should talk about this someplace private." He gazed at Jay gravely and said somberly, "Jay, listen, do you trust me?"

_With my life_. "You know I do, Der…" He trailed off uncomfortably. Draco. His partner's name was Draco, the man he loved—He'd never even known his real name.

Derek smiled at him, blazingly wide, and wrapped his arms around Jay's back. "Hold on to me, yeah?" he instructed as Jay's heart stuttered in his chest and his dick throbbed in his pants. God, so not the time.

He moved closer to Derek, unable to decide if he wanted him to notice his… predicament or not.  He squeezed his arms tight around his partner's waist. He was staring straight into those mischievous grey eyes and contemplating just throwing caution to the wind and planting his lips on Derek's when Potter appeared at his partner's side. His eyes were blazing as he offered resentfully, all the while glaring at their embrace, "Maybe I should take him, Malfoy?"

Derek rolled his eyes. "Don't be an idiot, Potter. You have no idea where you're going. Just grab on to my elbow." Potter grumbled something under his breath and grabbed tighter than Jay thought was strictly necessary to Derek's arm. Derek refocused his attention by yanking his chin towards him. "Jay, this is going to feel weird but don't panic, okay? Remember you trust me and that I wouldn't hurt you, yeah?"

Jay could feel the squirming anxiety in his stomach building and he clung more fiercely to his partner's waist, the only thing that felt solid. Derek said something but it was whooshed out of existence as a crushing sensation started at Jay's lungs and radiated outward. Sure that he was suffocating, Jay thought about lunging for Derek's mouth and kissing him with a passion that would ignite them both, but the idea of opening his eyes to the sucking blackness to discern his partner's location was too much to bear.

Abruptly, every sensation ceased but for his hands on Derek's hips and Derek's arms around his shoulders.

Jay slowly opened his eyes to recognize the monochrome cleanliness of Derek's apartment. He blinked rapidly, feeling faint, and exploded, "What the _fuck_?" He tried to step away from Derek but his legs were weak and his breathing choppy. His partner carefully guided him to the couch he had slept on only a matter of days ago, biting his lip with uncertainty and looking more unsure than Jay had ever seen him. He grabbed Derek's hand as he started to move away and panted, "Holy – wait, how did we – How are we in your apartment?"

Potter let out an odd noise behind them and Jay barely caught the mumbled and furious, "Been here before." Derek turned to look at him questioningly and Potter stomped his foot childishly. "This is so fucking stupid."

"Thank you," Derek snapped. "We've gotten your opinion on the matter, Potter." Jay pulled his attention back to his partner and Derek smiled at him feebly. He wanted answers, he wanted to push, but it was _that_ smile and Jay couldn't make himself stress the gorgeous man before him any more than he already had. Derek grabbed both of Jay's hands in his, drew in a deep breath, and held his questioning gaze in his sincere obsidian eyes. "I'm a wizard."

And Jay would have laughed outright if not for that sincerity. Perhaps Potter had knocked something loose in his partner's brain when they were fighting? Well, they could get that fixed, Jay was sure of it, and he was about to assure Derek of it too, when he just barely caught the exchanged glance between Potter and his partner. While Jay had – at first – thought they'd looked worried, he was sure he'd misread the situation and that it was a conspirator's exchange. They were pulling some kind of prank on him! That had to be it.

Jay gave Derek a tentative grin and prodded encouragingly, "You're fucking with me, aren't you?" He indicated their surroundings, giving them a hard look, and said, "This is some kind of advanced simulation or something, isn't it? A prototype or—"

But he was stunned into utter silence as Derek waved his stick thingy and the couch cushion next to him transformed into a fat, pink, snuffling pot-bellied pig.  It smelled like _barn_ and slop and its skin was _moist_.  Jay barely had time to widen his eyes before it was a cushion again.

Jay jumped out of his seat with a yell of surprise and fell to the floor. He could still smell the mix of mud and straw.

He backed away from the sofa, scooting across the hardwood floor on his hands and feet, and he could hear himself stutter through trembling lips, "How the fuck did you just—" But it wasn't real, because he had a brain tumor. And Potter probably wasn't real either and maybe _this_ Derek wasn't but _his_ Derek was and _that_ Derek would take him to the hospital and Jay would finally – _finally_ – tell him how he felt and maybe they could have _something_ before he died his slow and painful, cancer-ridden death. Because that was really the best option right now.

Derek sighed and dropped to his knees in front of him, holding his face and forcing Jay's eyes to refocus. Jay looked at him pleadingly but all Derek said was a rather unfeeling, "Magic is real. And I'm a wizard."

Jay shook his head. Because, see, _that_ didn't make sense. _Martians_ made more sense than that. He tried to explain to Derek how that didn't make sense, and how he couldn't be a wizard, because he was normal, like him, and maybe if he'd just _listen_ then _they_ could have a _normal_ life _together_. "That's-That's not possible because – because magic _isn't_ real."

Derek gritted his teeth and said in a voice that implored him to see reason (though how could reason involve _magic_?), "How do you explain Potter taking off the handcuffs or Apparating out of his cell then?"

Jay latched onto the word, because he had to take this in in the smallest chunks possible. "Ap-App?"

"Apparating, it's what we call teleporting," Derek explained with forced patience.

'What we call'? _"It's you who doesn't understand, Muggle."_ "'Muggle', what does that mean?" Jay blurted suddenly.

"That means someone who's non-magical," Derek elaborated carefully.

Jay felt like he was cracking up; wizards, Muggles, Apparating, magic sticks, pigs, spells. It was all too much. Jay clung to his partner like a drowning man, just barely staving off hysteria. "Derek, tell me this isn't real. Tell me that you're not—"

Derek dropped his gaze and stared at the lacquered floor. His voice was quiet and self-diminishing. "I can make you forget that you ever knew this about me. I can make you forget that you ever knew _me_. It's up to you what you want me to do." Derek looked up at him and Jay was almost shocked out of his near-insanity by the tears in his partner's perfect silver eyes. "This can become just another boring day at the Bureau if you like."

No more Derek? He could maybe get his wife back, and he wouldn't have to agonize over his sexuality any longer, and stakeouts wouldn't be a personalized torture anymore, and he'd probably sleep a whole hell of a lot better if there was no more Derek. No more Derek. You might as well just say 'no more color.'

"No!" Jay said forcefully, because what was the world without color and what was Jay Edwards without Derek Malloy? "I don't want to forget you. I don't want to forget anything about you. But I need, I don't know—" And it was true, he didn't. All he knew was that the thought of losing this man had inspired a horrific wave of panic and terror within him that had obliterated everything else. What did he need? "Time and – more information maybe," he decided. "But not… yet." He simply couldn't handle any more of the truths that he had thought to be universal being crushed to dust right before his eyes.

Derek smiled half-heartedly at him and helped him to his feet. "Fair enough. I'm here when you're ready." He waited until Jay was nearly at his door, Potter glaring at him hatefully, before he tacked on, "Oh, and Jay, it should go without saying but – you can't tell anyone."

Jay snorted. "Like anyone would believe me."

Derek still seemed troubled but he did his best to grin back valiantly. "Exactly."

Jay had only made it halfway down the hallway before he turned back around. How many times today had he thought he had lost out on the opportunity to tell Derek how he really felt for good, and now he was just going to turn around and walk away? He could face a loaded gun but he couldn't tell another man that he was in love with him? Well, fuck that, it was time to stop living his life like a scared little girl. This magic, wizards, Muggles stuff – sure, it complicated things, but it hadn't tainted even one tiny iota of what he felt for his partner.

Jay opened Derek's door with a deep breath and started speaking before he could stop himself, "Derek, I—"

Potter's voice cut him off. However, when Jay heard what he had to say he found he didn't mind very much. "Your partner's in love with you," Potter forced out through clenched teeth.

Jay searched the apartment for the source of the declaration and saw Potter and Derek standing in the hallway that led to his bedrooms. Potter's back was to him and his position was blocking Derek's eye line. He could see them, but they couldn't see him.

He tried to edge around so he could see Derek's face but he knew there was every chance that if he could see Derek's face then Derek would be able to see his and was forced by logic to content himself with listening. He closed the door lightly behind him and sank to the floor in a squat, his back resting against the dark wood.

Derek's answer was every inch the taunting prat Jay had known for three years. "What's it to you if he is?" he goaded, almost seeming as if he was enjoying himself.

Potter grabbed him by his upper arms and slammed him into the wall so that Jay could see Derek's expression, gleeful and infused with spite. Potter bore down on him and Jay noticed he took extra care to press his hips into Derek's as he snarled, "You know it then?"

Derek gave a breathy little gasp and Jay's hands curled into fists, his nails biting into his palms. Derek strong-armed Potter away and shook his head. "He's not. Believe me, I've – well, if he's gay then he's done an excellent job of hiding it."

Potter seemed uncertain as to whether or not Derek was telling the truth or simply trying to put him off and demanded critically, "You don't see the way he looks at you then?"

Derek glared at him. "We're close, Potter. We've worked together for three years. Don't make it into something it's not."

Potter leaned against the opposite wall and regained his breath as Derek did the same across from him with his eyes peacefully closed. Potter stared at him in a grossly blatant fashion but if Derek felt it then he said nothing.

Potter swallowed heavily and staggered over to Jay's unperturbed partner, placing a hand on either side of him and trapping him in the cage of his arms and chest. Potter moved in unmistakably close and said as though he wished Derek would contradict it, "I have to leave."

Derek nodded cautiously and warned, without opening his eyes, "Make sure you do it properly, don't leave any loose ends. I don't want to have to clean up after you."

Potter frowned; that clearly was not the answer he'd wanted. Though Jay noticed it seemed to have been the one he expected. He placed his hand on Derek's cheek and brushed his lips over the thoughtful scrunch of his forehead. "Come with me," he whispered imploringly. "Don't you think this exile has lasted long enough? It's time, isn't it?"

Derek opened his eyes and while his words were firm, his body was leaning into Potter's seemingly without his mind's consent. "I've made a good life for myself here. I like being Derek Malloy. I like not having to think of my parents or the war."

"But it'll never be home, Draco," Potter cooed in a nudging fashion. "You don't belong here."

Derek pressed his lips to Potter's neck and tugged him close even as he sought to push him away. He seemed unable to resist pressing light kisses to the tanned skin as he breathed out haltingly around them, "Why do you care so much, Potter?"

Potter's eyes were closed now and he mostly moaned out his answer as he dragged Derek against him. "Because, maybe, it'd be nice having you around." He panted and pushed himself up against Derek, his right hand groping for his ass and lifting up. "You're abrasive and impossible but you keep me on my toes and up until a couple years ago you were a constant." He rutted his hips against Derek's and groaned, "I miss that."

"What are you trying to say?" Derek asked breathlessly.

It took Potter a moment to regain himself as he both pushed his hips into Derek's groin and pulled Derek's ass closer. "Maybe I don't want this to be so fleeting," he answered with a winded grin. He finally trailed his fingertips over Derek's cheeks, hairline, jaw, chin, mouth, neck, and whispered reverently, "I never thought I'd see your face again, at least not like this, and if you stay here, you might as well have stayed dead for all the difference it makes."

Derek returned the blind man's gesture before saying longingly, "I can't just uproot myself."

"Why the hell not?" Potter countered. "What have you got that's keeping you here?"

_Jay. You have me. Say 'Jay Edwards,' my partner, my friend, my… maybe-something-someday_ , Jay thought desperately.

"My job, my friends—" Derek retorted but he made no move to leave Potter's embrace.

_God, please don't go with him._

Potter parried instantly. "Transfer. Write, call, email."

Derek shook his head, his thoughts seeming lost and jumbled. "I have to – I miss it, I do, but I don't know if I can face it. All of it."

Potter buried his face in Derek's neck while Derek threw his head back and _savored_. Jay could just imagine what Potter was doing and he really hoped that Derek wouldn't mind that his hand had been bleeding all over his doormat for the past five minutes or so.  He uncurled his hand from a fist but the damage was done. Potter growled somewhere from the vicinity of Derek's collarbone: "You won't have to do it alone."

"Why?" Derek demanded suddenly, seeming confused and almost mistrusting of Potter's affections for him.

Potter shrugged hopefully. "Because maybe it's worth a try." He smiled, admitting, "We had something – we were almost friends before you left."

Derek's eyes narrowed and he pushed Potter off of him with cold fury in his eyes. "We were both in a shitty situation in the same place, Potter," he spat cuttingly. "We weren't friends, my cell abutted yours and you watched me _get fucked_ _against my will_ by a goddamn werewolf for the better part of a year."

Potter flinched something _awful_ and it was everything Jay could do to restrain himself from going over to his partner, taking him in his arms and never letting him go again.  Potter jutted out his chin defiantly.  "I would have protected you with my life if I could have."

"Sympathy. Not friendship," Derek countered flatly.

Potter's eyes darkened, his features closing off, and his voice rumbled out bracingly. "You're wrong. I cared what happened to you, Malfoy, but did you give a shit about that?" Potter shoved him back angrily. "No, as soon as we were free you just took off, letting everyone think you were dead. Are you going to hide from your past again or are you going to finally face this?" he demanded. "You know you're just postponing the inevitable, you can't run from this forever."

A lingering pause lengthened between them until Derek finally whispered into it, "I can't go back."

Potter's eyes shadowed further with fury and Derek clenched his own shut tight as the man's fist reared back but, instead of hitting him, Potter's fist slammed into the wall next to his head and left a rather impressive dent in his plaster. Derek stared at it as Potter croaked hopelessly, "I want to help you, you complete twat. Why won't you let me?"

Derek crossed his arms over his chest and said quietly, "Go home, Potter."

Potter looked as if he would fight him, argue him out of it, fuck him into it, or just bloody well demand that Derek come with him but, in the next moment, all the emotion collapsed and all he managed was a broken, "Fuck you, Malfoy," while Jay scrambled away from the door so he could storm out of it.

* * *

Jay ran into them the next day as he was preparing to leave work; he had one last errand to run – filing some paperwork as a favor to Lila (the blackmailing cunt) with the Eastern field office – and he stepped out onto the seventh floor to find Potter and Derek stuffed into an alcove directly across from him. Potter had Derek backed into a wall and he was positively shaking with rage. "Fuck you, Malfoy! You plan to spend the rest of your life not dealing with it then?"

Derek elbowed him in the ribs and tried to stalk away when Potter grabbed him by his hips and pulled him back. Derek struggled against him, straining desperately. "Just fucking go home and leave me out of it!"

"Excuse me for not fucking tiptoeing around it," Potter erupted explosively. "Denying it isn't the same as dealing with it, you fucking prick!"

Derek stepped hard on his insole and tossed his hair back, breathing painstakingly and looking rumpled though all the more determined for it. "What would you know about it, Potter? If I remember correctly, all you had to do was _watch_."

His partner was glaring at Potter, as though daring him to deny it, but Potter was turning so red that Jay thought he might actually explode. He opened his mouth but apparently his wrath knew no words. He took one last look at Derek before disappearing with a noise like a gunshot.

Derek was still staring hard at the spot he had vanished from when Jay left to go home fifteen minutes later.

* * *

The next week was hell for Jay but, of course, it was nothing compared to how it was for Derek. The man had come in with his face unshaven, wrinkles in his clothes, and his buttons mis-buttoned – each day his appearance getting successively worse. He was off his game when it came to their cases and his normally keen insight seemed to have been snuffed out like a candle. And Jay was far from the only one in the department who noticed.

Jendrick had presented him with the lure of paid sick leave until he was back on his feet and Lila had given up her nights to getting him wasted enough that whatever was bothering him would cease to exist, at least for a few hours, but Derek had balked at every offer – seeming cold and distant.

Jay was in agony just witnessing his descent into carelessness and if he thought for one moment that revealing his affections would cure him, Jay would have gladly told all in a heartbeat. But he knew better. What he had seen in the interrogation room hadn't been a trick of the light as he had hoped, Derek had cared about Potter, too – _did_ care, in fact. And Jay was no replacement for that.

Because a month ago, Jay would have said that no one could inspire that level of passion in his partner and, but for Potter, he would have been right. He was a sad stand-in. And Jay had never wanted to be a stand-in, not to Derek.

* * *

Jay glanced over at Derek's empty desk for the twelfth time in a half hour and groaned. He gave up on concentrating on the pedantic report in front of him and dragged himself bodily from his chair in search of his wayward partner, knowing exactly where he would find him.

He stepped out of the elevator and into the lobby, making a sharp left as soon as he left the Fed building before trotting down a rather familiar alleyway. Derek's three-cigarette-a-day habit had morphed into an alarming three packs and he was almost always to be found here if not at his desk. Jay was just about to round the same dumpster he'd hidden behind with such disastrous results a few weeks ago when he heard Derek's nonchalant voice. "What are you doing back here, I thought you'd nanced off already?"

Jay sighed and bit back an angry retort, about to explain he'd been worried when a different voice answered.

Jay started in surprise and peered around the dumpster to see Potter standing in front of the slumped form of his partner. Derek's back was up against the brick wall, his head down, shoulders drooping, and smoke was furling up from his mouth. Potter was fidgeting before him, looking antsy and hopping from foot to foot as he wrung his hands together.

"I had. I did, but I." Potter looked as wild-eyed as he had on the day Jay first met him. He had bags under his eyes just like Derek and he couldn't seem to stand still. He bit his lip and stared imploringly at Derek, wordlessly begging him to give him _something_ to go on.

The silence seemed unbreakable and Potter tugged agitatedly at his hair. He paced back and forth for a moment before stopping and clapping his eyes on Derek, exploding, "I can't stop bloody thinking about you, about that night in the pub. All I see when I close my eyes is your goddamn face after I'd brought you off in that filthy bathroom stall, before you punched me in the face." He closed his eyes as if to bring the point home and he pulled harder at his hair – which looked messier than Jay had ever seen it. Potter waved a hand over himself and croaked desperately, "I've never – Blokes aren't supposed to make me feel this way."

That got Derek's attention. His head snapped up, his eyes narrowing, and his mouth sucked mindlessly at his cigarette – not realizing that he was now smoking the filter. His eyes flashed and he threw his butt to the ground, gritting, "Fuck you, you were the one panting over _me_ , Potter. Save your recriminations for someone who gives a damn."

He turned on his heel but Potter grabbed his arm, shaking his head violently, trying to make sense of his thoughts. "No – Fuck! I'm not blaming you, Malfoy, I just – I've never done this before but it feels right, all right? I mean, I've never felt like that with Gin, with _anyone_ , and I – you make me—"

Derek moved seductively close and slipped his body in against Potter's, demanding breathlessly, "Make you what, Potter?"

Potter swallowed painfully and his eyes crossed as he tentatively pressed his body back against Derek's. "You make me forget, Malfoy," he whispered with his eyes closed. "About the rest of the world, about everything that should fucking matter _so bloody much_ until all that's left is you. You always have. And I'm tired of fucking running from it. I want you and I don't care where the fuck that takes me, I'm just done goddamn denying it."

Derek fisted the back of Potter's hair and ripped his head down until the man opened his eyes to glare at him. "What do you expect from this, Potter?" Derek demanded shakily. "What the fuck do you want?"

Potter leaned his forehead in against Derek's and breathed, "I'm just waiting for you to change your mind, Malfoy."

Derek shook his head, frightened. "I told you, I'm not – there's nothing for me there any longer." He drew himself up straighter, trying to regain his aristocratic swagger. "Why should I return to a place where my name is as good as mud and my guilt or innocence is insignificant?"

Potter held him as though he was a fragile piece of art and whispered, "Because that's where I'll be."

Potter backed away from him slowly and Derek advanced uncertainly, biting his lip. "Which means what to me, Potter?"

Potter's hands shot out and gripped Derek's biceps, pulling him close. "Hopefully quite a bit," he said huskily before he mashed their lips together. Derek responded instantly, positively throwing himself into Potter's arms and kissing him back frantically. They lost themselves in one another and Jay could practically see the near-visible slides of their dueling tongues as they warred in and out of each other's mouths. Potter pulled away first and Derek whimpered at the loss of him. He carefully removed Derek's arms from around his neck and tenderly touched his cheek. "I'm… waiting," was all he said. "For you. I'll be waiting, Malfoy."

He moved away with a tired smile before he disappeared in a momentary storm of noise.

* * *

The next day when Jay walked in, Derek was already packing his things in boxes and he stood, disheartened, at the door to his partner's cubicle, rapping his fingers against the frame. "You're going, aren't you?" he asked desolately, even though he already knew the answer. He found he was still foolishly waiting for a contradiction.

"I have to." Jay did his best not to cry at the certainty in Derek's words, because he wasn't a kid in a sandbox who'd just had his favorite toy taken away. He was a man in a workbox who had just had his favorite could-have-been-sex-toy taken away, and that was much more adult. "Hey, don't look so down," Derek encouraged happily. "You'll come visit, won't you?"

Yes, he _would_ come visit because that's what adults did. There were ways around this, it's not like Derek was disappearing forever – unless he did that blinky apperative thing. Jay frowned to himself.

He looked up to find Derek staring at him and he breathed in deeply. _Now's your chance, Jay, tell him now or you never will. Do you really want to be an utter chicken shit for the rest of your life?_ "Derek, I—Draco," he corrected nervously. _Use the man's real name when you tell him you're in love with him, idiot._ He grinned and admitted, "It does suit you. I –" Derek – Draco – smiled his agreement and began humming as he took the pictures down off his walls and Jay's mission aborted itself. He just couldn't ruin Der-Draco's happiness, not for anything – even a better night's sleep. Derek looked up at him expectantly and Jay smacked him in the arm and confessed grudgingly, "You're the best partner I've ever had."

Derek grinned at him and wiggled his eyebrows. "You could always transfer with me."

Jay's heart stopped in his chest for a moment before his rationality caught up to the foolish romantic that had run away with him. _You're going to become a barrier to their domestic bliss, watch them kiss and fuck? Oh yeah, 'cause that's worked out sooo well for you in the past._ Jay snapped at the sarcastic voice to shut the fuck up and rolled his eyes at his part… ex-partner. Well, fuck, that was depressing. "De-Draco, come on, be realistic," he said with feigned cheer.

Derek wrapped an arm around his shoulders and pulled him close, grinning, while his other arm supported the box of his stuff. He ushered the both of them out of his off-former office and said, "I'll miss you, Edwards. For a while at least."

What the fuck did that mean? ' _For a while?'_ Did he really mean so little to his partner of three goddamn years? "Drac—" he started angrily.

Derek shook his head and hurried him off. He gave him a quick hug at the elevators and spoke without much of a pause, "I'd better go or I'll miss my Porky – I'll explain later." Jay thought the promise of an explanation was probably smart as, right now, his guess was that Derek was referring to another pig he had transformed from a couch cushion that he had, perhaps, kept as a pet back in Britain.

It took a moment for his brain to catch up with the rest. _Later? Later! There was the possibility of later?_ "Later, when?" Jay asked, his anticipation making him breathless with excitement.

But Derek just smiled enigmatically at him, whispered, "See you soon, Jay," in his ear, and walked out of his life just as seamlessly and as torturously as he had entered it.

* * *

Jay dragged his feet all the way back to his desk, his heart heavy and his soul weary. He slumped into his seat and buried his head in his hands for the next fifteen minutes before deciding he was better than this – though that was _highly_ debatable depending on which side of his brain you asked – and tugged open his desk drawer so he could actually do his _job_ while he was at _work_.

A curious white envelope was resting atop the foremost folder and Jay picked it up carefully. He was about to call for someone – suspicious mail, big no no – when he recognized his partner's scribble across the front proclaiming one word:

_Jay_

When he had finally ripped the envelope open it looked like a rabid dog had gotten to it and a heavy, laminated card and a thick piece of what felt like… parchment fell into his lap. He picked up the card first and was surprised to find a picture of himself staring back at him on something called a 'Portkey' license.

_Oh_ , that must have been what Derek had said.  'Portkey,' not 'Porky'. Jay frowned when he found this didn't really make any more sense than it had before.

He was pondering on it when the card did something so unexpected that he shot up in his seat, landed wrong, and ended up sprawled on the floor. He barely noticed however as he was still staring hard at his picture-self when – sure enough – it did it again! One moment he was just staring at a rather normal picture of himself, the image giving a rather cringing smile (he had never photographed well), when he swore the image _noticed_ him and – yes, it did it again – it bloody well _winked_!

He turned it over in awe and saw for the first time that a sticky note had been tamped on to the back. He could almost hear his partner laughing at him as he read it.

_Harry and I know some people in the Department of Magical Transportation_ (and it took Jay a minute of confusion after reading this to realize that 'Harry' must be 'Potter.' He had never even realized he didn't know the man's first name) _and we finagled a Portkey license for you so **try** not to act like such a Muggle when you go. The location of the closest office is on the back of the card underneath the tacky, _ (Jay grinned, no matter how many times Jay had told him it was called a _sticky_ note, Derek had refused to call it anything but a tacky) _and, for Merlin's sake, don't **tell** anyone you're a Muggle either, you daft git._

Jay carefully set the card, face down, on his desk, knowing all thoughts of work were shot to hell as he would be spending the rest of the afternoon staring at that picture to see what else it would do. He plucked up the piece of parchment and the shock he got from it was far greater than that of the animate image or the fact that, apparently, there was a Department of Magical Transportation.

_Christmas at mine this year? And would you boink Lila already, I think she's starting to get a bit desperate._

The parchment fluttered to the floor listlessly and Jay's exclamation was nothing more than screechy disbelief.

"Lila?!"

A dark head popped up over his cubicle wall and Lila tilted her face to the side curiously as she queried in a cheery voice, "You called?"


End file.
